best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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