She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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