mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
