question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I love you.
Bad choice
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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