Sponge bath it is.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
