Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
