ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Randomize
