Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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