I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
