I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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