dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
