ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
