found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
