We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
