Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
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