Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
