I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Randomize
