I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I am puke
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
