I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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