He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize