its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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