I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
When did angry sex become our thing?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Randomize