Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
