You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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