That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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