Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
