i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
