Christians are straight up FREAKS
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
