He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
