out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
