i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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