shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
