Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
We left the knife in your bed.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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