Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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