I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
How external is "for external use only"?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
