I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
