I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
