he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize