Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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