I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
My balls are so social today.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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