I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Woke up backwards on a recliner
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
