you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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