I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
