when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
