Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
So squirting runs in the family.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
