I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
