The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
