I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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