I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
