His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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