when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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