Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
