so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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