even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
