I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Randomize
