You made me cry and you don't even care
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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