we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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