I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
