Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
