spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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