My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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